Motivating ourselves to move forward can be so difficult at times. The first year of loss is what I call the numb stage. Still in shock or disbelief, people who are there for us, taking care of what we need, but as time goes on the numbness wanes, people are there but not there, no one wants to ask how you are doing because they don't know what to say or do if you say you're not doing well. So, we become victims to grief.
There is a way to avoid being a victim by pushing through our pain by processing our thoughts, fears, joys, heartaches. It is okay - you deserve to talk about how you are doing. You should not be shunned or feel bad when saying I'm not having a good day today. The right person will hear you, guide, and be there for you; what is difficult is finding that person.
Find a way to process your grief to avoid being a victim to your grief; do not hide your thoughts or your feelings. I've been widowed for many years, and I still grieve, but I do so in a way where I am no longer a victim of my grief; I allow myself to grieve when I need to, remember the joys and sorrows and go about my day. The most important piece I have is in knowing, that my husband is with me wherever I go, he remains in my heart and makes me smile. Many blessings ~~ Cammie